There are books about puberty, about the menopause and it seems helpful books about everything in life except being male and old. Prove me wrong? Nobody warned me, never mind informed me, that my testicles would be sinking towards my knees and getting in the road all the time, that they could no longer be contained in my underpants but would make  frequent escapes.

I knew I would get weaker than I already was but nobody warned me that a seven year old would become stronger! 

Plugs seem to be glued into sockets these days and removing them is really getting harder. My skin especially the skin on my hands oh dear goodness me. Thin, loose and baggy actually quite repulsive, I’m glad my sight is going. Don’t get me started on hair, it’s bad enough my too big to start with ears are hairy beyond comprehension. I have to shave my ears, and it’s not just my ears there are wiry tufts elsewhere sprouting from fresh areas of horror. Then there is that annoying nose hair and I don’t mean the ones inside I mean the ones growing out of my nose the ones that catch my eye. I need to shave my nose for heaven’s sake.

Maybe now I understand why there are no help books, who wants to know these things in advance? The big question is why? Ok gravity causes things to fall down I get that but what use is hair on my ears and on my nose what practical use is that? Oh and then there is the other problem I am losing height not that I had much in the first place so that hurts in particular. I’m getting smaller, sheesh! So far though I have escaped trousers that fasten just under my nipples I guess that treat is yet to come. What joy awaits. 😉

Augustine x