I nearly died

No regrets! That I realise is my motto. I didn’t choose it, I didn’t force it on myself,I realised this morning that I have accepted everything that happens not exactly with joy but with acceptance of the reality. With acceptance comes the realisation of no regrets. I can longer sit at a table, cut up my own food, walk my dog. I have rubber handled spoons and forks depending on what I am eating out of a bowl. Sounds awful but it isn’t that’s just me adapting to reality. The same with my sight loss. My eyes have never been … Continue reading I nearly died

Dragon Breath Kissing

I write this on an iPad an index finger away from my left eye. I am left handed so I am holding it in my right hand which is the side of my body that is weak because of neuropathy. It gets very heavy and very painful doing it this way. Still I must write I have had the compulsion to write since I was eight years old. Without writing life is strange, something missing. Fortunately my entire working life (ended when I was 47) had allowed me to write and study. Even the last twenty years have been full … Continue reading Dragon Breath Kissing

I need to shave my nose!

There are books about puberty, about the menopause and it seems helpful books about everything in life except being male and old. Prove me wrong? Nobody warned me, never mind informed me, that my testicles would be sinking towards my knees and getting in the road all the time, that they could no longer be contained in my underpants but would make  frequent escapes. I knew I would get weaker than I already was but nobody warned me that a seven year old would become stronger!  Plugs seem to be glued into sockets these days and removing them is really … Continue reading I need to shave my nose!

Today I am in twilight

Waiting for noon. I pray at noon every day. Just a simple prayer but part of my spiritual discipline. I have been up for five hours. I am tired already. I was tired when I woke up and I’m still tired, maybe in another ten hours I might not feel exhausted. My head aches. It feels as though my very bones ache. Just a normal day. What is really unhelpful is when people say to me you are looking well. That’s the problem. They see me sitting in an armchair putting on a bit of an act and when they … Continue reading Today I am in twilight